One for three (A Project Model Chef update post)

Dear Project Runway judges,

I'm sorry but you can't have it both ways. You can't bitch week after week that the designers are not pushing the creative envelope and then kick them off when one actually does push it. Sure, his sci fi dress wasn't the best thing Ra'Mon has ever done but it looked like it belonged in a sci fi movie.
Kicking him off was inexcusable. The brother is more talented than most any of the people still left, and that goes double for Louise and Logan, both of whom should have been booted this week. They both did boring work that was in no way in the same league creatively with Ra'Mon.

And while I'm at it, you judges got the winning design wrong as well. Christopher should have won. That dress he made was chic, stunning, and so fashion forward that people in the future will be pointing to it as an example of good timeless good design. By naming that fat faced greasy haired Nicholas the winner you have increased the amount of smarm he'll inflict on us in the future. He's already insufferable enough, of course he's one of those know it all New Yorkers who denigrates everything that did not come out of that city, so you've put us all on dangerous ground you Project Runway judges. Damn you!

Yours,
Dr. Monkey


Dear Project Runway designers,

What the feck were you thinking letting this woman go?

She is stunning and she'd look great in sack cloth and ashes. You let my girl Fatma go and you kept that boring bean pole Asian chick Celine with the bad hair cut? And you kept Kojii and that horrid Vanessa? Seriously? You all really fecked this one up.

I'm putting you all on notice. And you better not be letting my girls Tanisha and Kalyn, and Katie go.

Consider yourselves warned.

Warily yours,
Dr. Monkey


Dear sweet, sweet wonderful Top Chef,

I loved this weeks show beyond words. It was beautiful, wonderful, and fantastic. It was a joy to behold and a treasure for the eyes and ears. And do you want to know why I loved it so?

It's because it was a Gail Simmons free episode! Oh how I hate that pampered little rich girl and her attitude of entitlement. She strikes me as someone who has never worked a day in her life and yet who expects all those around her to work their asses off to please her. Her voice grates on my last nerve, if I were a contestant on your show and one critical word came out of her fish mouth in my direction I'd leap across that table and sever her vocal cords with a rusty tin can lid. And she's not attractive and yet she parades about as if she is. I don't take anything she says seriously and I can only hope that she's gone for good.

Thanks for bringing the Brit back. Toby Young rules. He's harsh but fair and super best of all, he's no Gail Simmons!
And in closing, thanks for getting rid of Haitian Chowder Man. He was over due to be axed and it was good to see him go. Next time let's concentrate of getting rid of Robin and Laurine.

Gleefully yours,
Dr. Monkey

PS: Please don't bring Gail Simmons back. Pretty please?